HOPE RAN and the difference it made

Sunday, January 17, 2010 Chetan Bhawani 2 comments
Words from the Arpan Team,

As you know not only did adult surivovors of CSA share their stories
with Harish during the 'HOPE RUNS' campaign, but also when they saw
him running with the placard today during the marathon.
Harish said, "One man just out of the blue hugged me and started
crying, I asked him if he knew me and if I can be of any help to him."

He simply replied, "Thank You".

Harish wondered why this stranger was thanking him, he thought it was
a case of mistaken identity. When Harish asked him further the
stranger replied, "I am a survivor of child sexual abuse too." Saying
so, he again hugged Harish and revealed that he had not shared it with
anybody, but today for the first time with a stranger. He smiled and
vanished into the crowd.


Everything can't be measured and valued... some differences are just
immeasurable and invaluable... that moment was one of them....

We got covered today by the Times of India, Radio Mirchi, IBN 7 and NDTV 24 X 7.
Today's Times of India (Mumbai edition), pg 29 carries Harish's story.

Thank you everyone for all your support and best wishes.

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I would like to thank Harish Iyer, the strength for all those people who never had a hope of better life. Never had a hope of living ahead after being a victim of such horrid crime.

He has been spreading the awareness about ill effects of Child Sexual Abuse. Its different, its not easy to stand in the crowd talking about something like that, but Harish did it, not just for himself, but for every one who could not, but wished they could speak out.

Many adult survivors have shared their stories with Harish, throwing away all the insecurities, and he did the same running the Mumbai Marathon today, holding the Placard for Hope Runs campaign!

Thanks to everyone who supported Arpan group, Harish, and all of them involved in the cause.

(8/8) HOPE RUNS - cos 'survivors' CAN become 'thrivers'

Saturday, January 16, 2010 Bhuvan 1 comments
"I started speaking up slowly for animal rights. I then started standing up for myself. I found recognition, and support, and decided to speak up. Sadly, but not to my surprise, I have found many more boys open up to me in anonymity... I help them as much as I can and later direct them to psychotherapists….. I am 30 now. It has taken me years to comprehend that I am not a remnant of my past. I have made a conscious decision to speak about child sexual abuse, because ignorance about sex abuse didn't help me. And the one who wrote 'ignorance is bliss' had the dictum working for him. I cannot be him.”” - Harish Iyer, adult survivor of child sexual abuse


Sadly millions of adult survivors suffer silently. Finding that there are other people who’ve been victims of childhood sexual abuse gives them support and HOPE that they are not alone and sharing becomes the first step to healing.


Ignorance is not bliss….. repressed memories and emotions of traumatic experiences eventually percolate into an individual’s thoughts and belief systems affecting him/her at every level; emotional, physical, psychological, sexual, leading to many other problems. It is important to deal with these emotions and memories and negate them through therapy so that they stop having harmful effects on the individual.
Survivors CAN become ’thrivers’ and lead lives of peace and happiness.

And though the light at the end of the tunnel seems far we CAN get there. We WILL get there. One day.


Yes, there is HOPE.


Harish’s story has helped lots of other adult survivors find some solace in the fact that they are not alone. Countless people have called him even through this campaign to share their experiences and find support. There are many more adult survivors who’ve faced such severe sexual abuse. Each story is as shocking and painful as this has been.

Harish is a symbol of courage and determination and we applaud individuals like him who’ve helped bring the issue to light.

Watch out for our ‘DREAM MAKER’ Harish running with the Arpan banner during the marathon on 17th January and do cheer him!


We have crossed our target amount of Rs. 1,01,000/- and raised Rs. 1,10,500/- ! : ‘ )


A very big ‘Thank you’ to all our supporters:

Aaditya Dhoot

Ajay Maheshwari

Amit Laxman

Archana Bhatia

Chhavi Sachdev

Harveer Singh

Kartikeya Talreja

Mariya Mubarak

Mrunalini Kolekar

Mukunthan K. R.

Neelu Jalan

Nishant Philip

Pooja Taparia

Priya Krishnamoorthy

Rachana Rathi

S Vivek Krishna

Sanjeevi Girdhar

Smietaa Dhoot

Suman Srivastava

Suraj Shetty

Sushil Somani

Umakantha Adiga

Venkatesh Iyer


We would also like to thank all our friends who managed our blog and pages on twitter and facebook.


We have huge challenges that lie in front of us and knowing that you are with us gives us strength. We hope that you will continue to support us even in the future. Thank you so much!

www.arpan.org.in


Join Arpan's facebook group. - facebook/arpan



and you could join/follow the "hope runs" campaign here


www.twitter.com/hoperuns

www.facebook.com/hoperun

(7/8) HOPE RUNS - to say 'NO' to abuse

Monday, January 4, 2010 harish iyer 2 comments
My problem was not that I faced pain during the abuse; it was that I felt nothing. I would lie like a log of wood. I was absolutely nihilistic. But now it was getting difficult, as I was gaining consciousness from my trance. I was understanding what pain feels like. Every day was getting worse, a thousand revolting voices rang in my mind. One day, the revolution took definite form. My relative pounced on me, and I kicked him. My eyes were red and bloodshot, and I ground my teeth and said 'NO'. A loud and clear 'NO'. This is all that it took to end this ordeal. Once and forever.” - Harish Iyer, adult survivor of child sexual abuse




Most often children tend to 'accommodate' the abuse over a period of time. They feel helpless and don't know who to turn to. Only when it gets unbearable does the child become assertive. 


Quite often, a loud and clear ‘NO’ can stop the abuse. 



ARPAN teaches children to be assertive and say ‘NO’, ‘DON’T’, ‘STOP IT’, scream or shout, do whatever it takes to stop the abuser and get away from the situation. ARPAN has taught over 1000 children, skills to protect themselves from sexual abuse and need your support to reach out to thousands more.

Harish is running for ARPAN in the Mumbai Marathon on 17th January, 2010 to support Arpan's work on preventing child sexual abuse and healing it’s ill effects.
Help him raise funds for ARPAN. Funds collected will be used for teaching children skills to protect themselves from sexual abuse and help child and adult victims heal through counseling and therapy.

Funds collected so far – Rs. 92,200/-      Target amount – Rs. 1,01,000/-
Only Rs. 8800/- needed to reach target amount! Quick, Donate now!!!!
Last date to receive cheques - 7th January 2010

Last date to receive online donations - 9th January 2010

To pay via cheque, please send cheque in the name of ‘United Way of Mumbai’ to
ARPAN
Unit 24, 2nd flr, 105, Apollo Street, Mumbai Samachar Marg, Mumbai – 23.
To know more about ARPAN visit www.arpan.org.in

Please forward this email to all your contacts and help spread the word around. Thank you.

Watch out for updates on
www.Hope-Runs.blogspot.com and www.twitter.com/hoperuns. Join Arpan's facebook group. - facebook/arpan www.facebook.com/hoperun



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United Way of Mumbai is the Charity Partner for Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon 2010 and will be sending the receipt and 80 G certificate to you for donations made. Donors outside India can donate but wont get any tax rebate. After the marathon, United Way will give the funds collected to ARPAN. To know more about United Way of Mumbai and the Marathon visit www.unitedwaymumbai.org

(6/8) HOPE RUNS - against prejudice

Tuesday, December 29, 2009 harish iyer 0 comments
”I confessed about my sexual abuse to a friend. Instead of keeping the confidence, he spread the news. Soon, the walls of the college and the toilet signboards had my name. They didn't see it as sexual abuse. For them, it was fun gay sex. I became a symbol of ridicule. I got branded as gay, because 'I had sex' with my relative. I tried to commit suicide, but survived.” - Harish Iyer, adult survivor of child sexual abuse

If a male child has been sexually abused by a male, or a female child by another female it DOES NOT mean either of them are homosexual.

Due to unawareness on child sexual abuse and gender sexuality, adolescents and adults don’t understand the differences between sexual abuse, homosexual behaviour and homosexual orientation and are unable to respond appropriately.

ARPAN creates awareness on child sexual abuse and teaches appropriate intervention skills and responses that should be given in the event of a disclosure. ARPAN has reached out to over 4000 parents, 700 teachers and mental health professionals so far and needs your support to reach out to many more.

Harish is running for ARPAN in the Mumbai Marathon on 17th January, 2010 to support Arpan's work on preventing child sexual abuse and healing it’s ill effects.

Help him raise funds for ARPAN. Funds collected will be used for teaching children skills to protect themselves from sexual abuse and help child and adult victims heal through counseling and therapy.

Funds collected so far – Rs. 90,200/- Target amount – Rs. 1,01,000/-
Donate now.

Last date to receive cheques - 7th January.
Last date to receive online donations - 9th January.

To pay online click here. http://www.unitedwaymumbai.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=146&popup=1&template_id=42
To pay via cheque, please send cheque in the name of ‘United Way of Mumbai’ to
ARPAN
Unit 24, 2nd flr, 105, Apollo Street, Mumbai Samachar Marg, Mumbai – 23.
To know more about ARPAN visit www.arpan.org.in

Please forward this email to all your contacts and help spread the word around. Thank you.
Watch out for updates on www.Hope-Runs.blogspot.com and www.twitter.com/hoperuns. www.facebook.com/hoperun Join Arpan's facebook group. - facebook/arpan
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United Way of Mumbai is the Charity Partner for Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon 2010 and will be sending the receipt and 80 G certificate to you for donations made. Donors outside India can donate but wont get any tax rebate. After the marathon, United Way will give the funds collected to ARPAN. To know more about United Way of Mumbai and the Marathon visit www.unitedwaymumbai.org
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Fight for Justice - Not just for Ruchika, but for society!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009 Chetan Bhawani 1 comments
Ruchika Girhotra was an innocent girl, an upcoming tennis player for the nation from Haryana. Was molested by a policeman in 1990, then was harassed by him, threatened so that she doesn't complaint about him. Her whole family was played with, in the same matter and she finally committed suicide after 3 years. Her friend Anuradha, still fighting for justice for Ruchika sees no justice in the case filed against the accused.

The former DGP of Haryana, SPS Rathore was given a sentence for 6 months, and due to the appeal from higher court, was released on bail in just a few minutes. Rathore enjoyed the life with the name of law and police, for 19 years and got promoted in his duties to become one of the best police officer in Haryana. But his evil acts would not be ever hidden. We, along with Aradhana would fight for Ruchika, fight for the society so that we don't see any other case of injustice in future.

We still appeal for justice and Rathore should be given a higher punishment for the things he did. Molested the girl, then jailed her brother for several cases of theft, the girl was expelled from school for all this happening, and in the end committed suicide.

All the Mumbaikars, join hands to fight for the society, vote below and comment at the Desi Dilwale gang site for justice.
Please vote -

(5/8) HOPE RUNS - to help regain their lost dignity

Monday, December 21, 2009 harish iyer 0 comments

    “I never trusted a man. I felt hatred and resentment towards anything that was masculine. As I grew up I was completely asexual. I was very body conscious. I thought my body was disfigured by constant abuse. I couldn't bear to be seen from the rear. As a result, I would chicken out from anything that made me stand first in the row, showing my rear to the rest. My constrained body posture made me walk shaking my butt, which people thought was typically girlish.” - Harish Iyer, adult survivor of sexual abuse



Sexual abuse is a traumatic experience for most children. As a result, children feel betrayed and find it difficult to trust adults again. They develop low self esteem, tremendous amount of shame and guilt which stays throughout adult life affecting their thought processes and beliefs about themselves.


ARPAN does counseling and therapeutic healing of children and adult survivors of sexual abuse so that they can live beyond the trauma of the abuse with the dignity they have a right to, healthily and joyfully. ARPAN has so far helped over 80 children and adults including trafficked/rescued minors. We need your support to help many more child and adult survivors.


Harish is running for ARPAN in the Mumbai Marathon on 17th January, 2010 to support Arpan's work on preventing child sexual abuse and healing it’s ill effects.


Help him raise funds for ARPAN. Funds collected will be used for teaching children skills to protect themselves from sexual abuse and help child and adult victims heal through counseling and therapy.


Funds collected so far – Rs. 88,200/-      Target amount – Rs. 1,01,000/-
Donate now.



(shortened URL – www.bit.ly/HopeRuns )


To pay via cheque, please send cheque in the name of ‘United Way of Mumbai’ to
ARPAN
@ Unit 24, 2nd flr, 105, Apollo Street, Mumbai Samachar Marg, Mumbai – 23.
To know more about ARPAN visit www.arpan.org.in



Please forward this email to all your contacts and help spread the word around. Thank you.
Watch out for updates on www.Hope-Runs.blogspot.com , www.facebook.com/HopeRun and www.twitter.com/hoperuns Join Arpan's facebook group. - facebook/arpan



 ------------------------------
United Way of Mumbai is the Charity Partner for Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon 2010 and will be sending the receipt and 80 G certificate to you for donations made. Donors outside India can donate but wont get any tax rebate. After the marathon, United Way will give the funds collected to ARPAN. To know more about United Way of Mumbai and the Marathon visit www.unitedwaymumbai.org


(4/8) HOPE RUNS - for those children who silently suffer

Monday, December 14, 2009 harish iyer 0 comments
“All my childhood I lived a dual life—the life when I was being abused, and the life when I wasn't. It dictated my very being. It was years of continuous abuse, years of pain, years of breach with not a single soul to reach out to. I bled from my anus often, and once did gather the courage to tell mom. And she thought it was because of the summer heat. I don't blame her now. She was completely ignorant about the fact that male children are susceptible to sexual abuse and need to be protected.” - Harish Iyer, adult survivor of child sexual abuse

Children do not talk about sexual abuse. They continue to be threatened by the secrecy they were sworn into and slowly grow to ‘accommodate’ the abuse. They also lack the vocabulary to talk about it. Even if they eventually talk about it, parents don’t pay much attention as they are unaware about child sexual abuse, what it is, its symptoms, its prevalence and the immense negative impact it can have on a child. They also do not know that boys are as susceptible to sexual abuse as girls.


ARPAN, an NGO in Mumbai creates awareness on child sexual abuse amongst parents so that they can help prevent child sexual abuse and intervene appropriately in the event of any abuse. Arpan has reached out to over 4000 parents so far and needs your support to reach out to thousands more.

Harish is running for ARPAN in the Mumbai Marathon on 17th January, 2010 to support Arpan's work on preventing child sexual abuse and healing it’s ill effects.

Help him raise funds for ARPAN. Funds collected will be used for teaching children skills to protect themselves from sexual abuse and help child and adult victims heal through counseling and therapy.


Funds collected so far – Rs. 76,100/-      Target amount – Rs. 1,01,000/-


Donate now.

To pay online click here. http://www.unitedwaymumbai.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=146&popup=1&template_id=42  for tweeting, you could use tiny url www.bit.ly/HopeRuns


To pay via cheque, please send cheque in the name of ‘United Way of Mumbai’ to
ARPAN
Unit 24, 2nd flr, 105, Apollo Street, Mumbai Samachar Marg, Mumbai – 23.
To know more about ARPAN visit www.arpan.org.in


Please forward this email to all your contacts and help spread the word around. Thank you.
Watch out for updates on www.Hope-Runs.blogspot.com , www.facebook.com/hoperun and www.twitter.com/hoperuns. Join Arpan's facebook group. - facebook/arpan
 ------------------------------
United Way of Mumbai is the Charity Partner for Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon 2010 and will be sending the receipt and 80 G certificate to you for donations made. Donors outside India can donate but wont get any tax rebate. After the marathon, United Way will give the funds collected to ARPAN. To know more about United Way of Mumbai and the Marathon visit www.unitedwaymumbai.org
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 What can you do about child sex abuse : you could blog/tweet and forward this email extensively. Let everyone read it. click on the Share This link below to share with your friends, acquaintances and people should know about the evil. 

I have  received several calls and emails from other survivors ever since this campaign was initiated. I understand that just by acknowledging and sharing, the burden of  the lump in the chest is lessened. Though, I am not a counselor, i try my best to listen, assist and share... and request them to speak to psychotherapist if the issue is beyond my control.  You could reach me at +919833100340 or mail me personally at hi@hiyer.net - Harish Iyer